Bahagian Perkhidmatan Kaunseling

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Selamat Tahun Baru 2012

Hope its not too late to wish a happy new year to everyone, I just returned to work today after few days leave. Feeling refresh and ready to give it all to 2012. I have plenty of things lining up to do. I just need to do them one by one and remind myself that I can do anything but I can't do everything. So I will give my best to do every single possible thing I could do and at the same time trying not to be hard on myself if I can't do it.

Just wondering if you have your own new year's resolutions? I have changed my way of putting resolutions as a continuous process, for example I made plans for a 2 years duration, should finish my book in 6 months, blog a post at least once a week or 3 times in a month, etc. So basically this will also run until the next year. On a personal level, I aim to be more active (getting back to my hiking routine) beside attending my aerobic classes, and get back to eating supplements (just vitamin E).

and thank you for dropping by here :)

Writing Mode: Diary of a Counsellor

Finally finding the courage, time and mood, to start writing and getting all the ideas together. If you realise, I have stopped creating newsletter for i-counsellor website, because now I'm focusing more on writing this book.


























You will expect to find counselling theories and practicals relating them to my personal experiences, ways on how I put myself into my clients' perspectives, to get into their worlds and how I try to maintain a professional boundaries with issues clients presenting to me in counselling sessions, acknowledging the importance of counsellors' continuing professional development and incorporating it into my career, and many others relevant information/ topics I think every counsellor should know and most likely have experience it in their work journeys as counsellors.

There will be plenty of pictures from my personal collection. Each conveys its own meaning and very precious to me in my journey being a counsellor. Some titles I have written so far are:

-Acknowledgement of your-so-not-type therapies
-Different hats I'm wearing
-Understanding Silence
-Overwhelmed by the 400 therapies!!
-I HATE HER!!
-Nearly in-tears session with a client

Hopefully it will be ready before mid 2012. I will be giving away free copies too, so stay tune :)

Salam.

Save Yourself First

I printed out relevant information found on American Counseling Association website, under the heading resources where you can find 'Counselor Wellness and Impairment' heading. I organized them in a folder, to help me to understand the whole concept better. I find it easier when I have the hard copy on my hand. I tried to answer them all, just to see where I am in this wellness and impairment area. I personally find it quite useful as it reminds me and to be more aware of my own 'personal exhaustion/ burn out' in this counselling profession.









I have some extra folder copies, let me know if you would like to have one.


"Anyone who has flown on an airplane and listened to the flight attendant before takeoff has been cautioned what to do in the event the oxygen masks fall from the ceiling: Put on your own mask first before trying to help someone else. Counselor wellness experts say that idea has mileage on the ground, too.

Helping yourself first is a principle that applies directly to counseling, says Sandra Rankin, a member of the American Counseling Association who runs a private practice in Austin, Texas. “If you’re gasping for air, you can’t help other people,” says Rankin, who is also earning her doctorate in health psychology from Walden University. “Counselors who neglect their own mental, physical and spiritual self-care eventually run out of ’oxygen’ and cannot effectively help their clients because all of their energy is going out to the clients and nothing is coming back in to replenish the counselors’ energy.” (Shallcross, 2011)

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Fundamental of Negotiations

Recently I attended a three days course on 'Fundamental of Negotiations' by EMG International Pte Ltd, from Singapore. I learnt a lot from the 3 days and I must say it was pretty packed with activities and lots of critical thinking had to be done on the spot. I felt mentally exhausted at the end of the day but the knowledge was priceless and it was all worth it.













*pictures of our course booklet*


I'm sharing some tips for a successful negotiation I gained from the course:

- negotiation is not only important in business, but also in our everyday life.

- always ask more than your target point( for example if you aim to get 5 items from a person for a fixed price, you may want to say you would like to get 8 items instead).

- understand negotiation is a process between 2 or more people, having a mutual agreement or simply no agreement at all (you have the veto power to step out from the negotiation).

- aware of what could led negotiation fail such as unclear objective/target, only wanting your views to be heard, lack of commitment, etc.

- understand the other person views before expressing yours.

- have some ideas of simple theory behind negotiation process.

- know your social style of negotiation and your partner.

- ability to adapt to their social style in order to know their interests and options to work effectively with them.

- active listening plays a crucial role.

- be a better listener.

-aware of barriers to active listening such as your own judgements to others, biasedness, etc

- know to apply the strategies tactics in negotiations : ignore it, discuss it, park it, leave it, play it, humor it.

- in overall, the best practises in facilitating a value-creating negotiation, these are vital to remember:

* Having some common goal or objective

* Faith in ability to solve problem together

* Motivation to work together

* Trust

* Clear and accurate communications

* Understanding of the dynamics of negotiation

* I might start using the skills the next time I'm purchasing a new set of sports shoes*

What Motivates you

A client asked me how to keep yourself highly motivated to go to work everyday?

It took me quite awhile to respond.

"It always good to remind yourself from time to time why do you choose to work at the first place. Let it be for yourself or for your family, remember to stay positive though at times it could really be hard when things get tough at work."








I admit there are times I do feel like the images above, I always remind myself not to get beaten or let these conquer me.






People always say 'Success is a journey, not a destination'. For me this journey is endless, with success and failures accompanying me along the way. It is up to ME to choose how to react and be in those ups and downs.





















One more thing, be firm when you need to be and prove you are capable of doing your work.